the story behind the song
I wrote "Fine" during a dark night of the soul. For me, my perfectionism often leads to bouts of self-sabotage, causing a fair amount of anxiety, self-loathing, and regret. Over cinematic slap house production by some of my most prolific collaborators (GARRY B and HVSH), I croon "I don't wanna be fine" - hinting at the frustration of always having to put on a face to show the world you’re doing alright, when in reality you’re crumbling inside. This track is my way of saying "it's okay not to be okay”. Fuck being fine.
In the original demo of this song, there was a spoken improv bit we ended up scratching. Right before the second drop, I said "I wish, sometimes, that I could just run away and start over, you know? Like...fuck being fine."
This is my first track signed to Future House Cloud.
By Arthur Kody
Every day is a fable, and I'm kinda unstable. Okay, I think I'm way fucked up. Cuz I've been laying the cable for a life on the table - it's always under knife, or it's under the gun.
The sound inside my mind won't let me go to sleep until I die. And I don't wanna slip away in time, but I'm out of control and I don't wanna be fine. I don't wanna be fine. Cuz fuck being fine.
I am not fine.
I thought I hit rock bottom last week. Now I'm eating every word that I speak, cuz I'm probably too fucked up. Trying hard to be better - self-sabotaging go-getter. I'll chronically be a debtor - it's just luck.
The voice inside my sighs, it tells me not to live inside a lie. But I've had it with tries, and I'm all out of goodbyes. So, I'm out of control and I don't wanna be fine. I don't wanna be fine. Cuz fuck being fine.
I am not fine.
"I thought I hit rock bottom last week..."
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